Footprints(tm)

I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Verizon guy.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there were one set of footprints.

This bothered me because I noticed

that during the low periods of my life,

when the lure of technology failed me,

and I couldn't download that critical email,

or use my phone's GPS to pinpoint my location

and I was lost in a maze of twisty passages, all alike

looking at the sand, I could see only one set of footprints.

So I said to the Verizon guy,
"You promised me, Verizon guy
that if I followed you into the land
of the $49.99 unlimited data plan
you would walk with me always,
and that you would "hear me now."
But I have noticed that during
the most trying periods of my life,
when I couldn't reach my gmail,
And map tiles were not forthcoming,
there have only been one
set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most,
have you not been there for me?"

The Verizon guy replied,

"The times when you have

seen only one set of footprints,

and felt so terribly disconnected

is when I forgot to throttle bittorrent.

You can switch providers, but remember

There's still nine months left on your contract."

Amen